THE BRO-CODE

brocode-01WE DO NOT JUST SHARE ROOMS, WE SHARE A LIFESTYLE. FROM CLOTHES TO OUR FAVOURITE METAL BANDS, WE SHARE IT ALL. WE STAY TOGETHER, WE EAT TOGETHER, WE STUDY TOGETHER (that’s a lie).

WE START A HABIT TOGETHER, WE FINISH A BOTTLE (Pepsi, duh)TOGETHER. THAT’S WHAT WE DO. WE LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. WE LEAD OUR LIVES BY THE SACRED BRO-CODE. WE DON’T JUST EXIST, WE LIVE!

– Jitesh Kaul (ex-Brokesperson)

 

Before I brommence my palaver(again), let me give you a little bottoms-up* regarding the existence of a bro.

 

WHAT IS A BRO?

“A dude or a guy?”

NOPE. NADA. ZILCH.

According to global computer network providing a variety of information, consisting of interconnected networks using standardized communication protocol i.e. INTERNET (thanks, Chatur!); a bro is short for brother. That’s it. Really?

No, Sir! That. Is. Not. It.

When you are living apart from your family, in an unfamiliar place, with unknown people; you find a person to confide in. Your go-to person. That person is your bro. If lucky, even your roommate.

A bro-mate(heh) is like a family you cherish when you are at a distance from your other family. He is the one you go to when you get nostalgic, nay brostalgic.

He’s the one you can count on when you’re sick because you know he’s going to be there for you. It may sound romantic; but to-be-very honest, BROMANCE> ANY ROMANCE. In short, a bro is basically your lifelong companion, unless he has found another bro who is just better than you. Sigh!

 

A BRO CODE is basically a set of rules/articles governed by the bros that have lived before us, our brogenitors, for the bros that are going to live after us, our brogeny.

 

UNBROKEN RULES:

 

Rule 1: You do not talk about the Bro-Code

To all the bros out there in the broniverse, talking about or even mentioning the Bro-Code is a serious broffence. The bro-code is a mutual feeling based on the brolationship between the bros.

exceptions – no exceptions, damn it!

 

Rule 2: You do not talk about the Bro-Code.

Blame Brad Pitt for this. He ruined the second rule for all of us.

 

Rule 3: Never procrastinate in front of other bros.

Brocrastination is like an epidemic, it spreads faster than a buttered bullet. If a bro procrastinates about his preparation for an exam, the other bro should not fall for it. The latter bro should keep his cool and continue his hardwork (i.e. watch an entire season of Game of Thrones).

 

Rule 4: Never judge your bro.

A bro should never judge another bro on how much he eats or sleeps or how long can he go without showering. There are enough judgemental people in this world.

 

Rule 5: Parents Alert

A bro should help another bro tidy up the place on the broccasion of his parent’s visit without asking questions. A bro can accept free meal as a broward.(Ka-Ching!)

 

Bro-tip:

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

– ABROHAM LINCOLN

 

Rule 6: Knock before you enter

ALWAYS. KNOCK. BEFORE. YOU. ENTER!!! (enough said)

 

Rule 7: Always Split

If you want to maintain your brolationship, you have to split. Be it the electricity bill, water bill, Internet bill, pizza bill (especially the pizza bill), always split to avoid a bro-wl.

 

Rule 8: N A P S

Napping is a sacred act. You do not mess with the nap time.

 

Rule 9: Time is EVERYTHING

Time is of the essence, and if you are in college, TIME IS ATTENDANCE. So don’t hog the bathroom when you shower; save the singing for karaoke nights for fridays.

 

GOLDEN RULE: Their stuff is yours and vice versa.

There is no denying this rule. It is like an Unbreakable-BROw, you can not break it. Though, you can be snaky AF about it.